Joke Pile #486

 Groaner of the Week: Kid Edition

What do you call it when an ant runs off to Las Vegas to get married without telling anyone?

Antelope.

Groaner of the Week: Adult Edition

What do you call it when an ant runs off to Las Vegas to get married without telling anyone?

Antisocial.

Things I Think I Thought

I think that summertime should be called sweater weather.

I think music without words is instrumental to your well-being. 

I think bad magicians are disillusionists.

I think what makes Special K so special, and if all letters are equally special, does that make it OK?

I think that if I specialized in woodwind one-liner jokes, I'd say "Take my fife, please."

I think that when a military periodontist passes away, they should get a twenty-one gum salute.

I think that, when it comes to bad whodunit movies, you suspect your disbelief.

I think that aardvarks added the extra letter a to their name to get a good spot in the phone book.

I think that a gala held at the seashore should be called a beach ball.

I think a great new Dick Wolf TV series about tidy landscapers and their vehicle would have to be called "Lawn and Order: SUV."

Every time I think about Dr. Seuss, his stories, and how much I miss Seuss, I feel like getting a massage.

I think of the younger version of Arnold Schwarzenegger as "Conan the Barbellian"

I think that if parties are get-togethers, divorce parties should be called fall-aparts.